Stories of Tragedy, Triumph, Grace, & Ascencion
As we went for our daily walk, I reached out and grabbed her hand. I felt safe with her, and I had felt this way since we first met. Unbeknown to her, underneath my boisterous personality, was a broken child who feared the world and trusted no one. Yet, her presence seemed to magically remove the fear and worry that filled my mind.
In big cities, teens have the option to apply for jobs in fast-food, retail, & clerical offices. Although these positions may be a far cry from a desired career, they offer a luxury that teens on the farm don’t have, air-conditioning.
From the moment that I lied..., I felt shame and regret. I have yet to attempt to tell a lie that didn’t leave me feeling the same way. As I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve come to the conclusion that that I don’t want to live under a cloud of shame.
“As much as we as humans love story-lines, the reality is that we actively participate in one every moment of our lives.”
I chose to confront this question with a clear and conscious decision to love myself regardless of the opinions, or judgement, of others. I concluded that the gospel is much more than a “get out of hell for free” card. It is an invitation for me
I stood there in shock. I hadn’t anticipated hearing the words that I just heard. Yet, deep inside I could not deny the truth being told to me…… “John, have you considered that you aren’t genetically capable of singing the repertoire that you’ve been trying to sing?”....
Feelings can be used as a launching pad that sends you on a pathway towards redemption, restoration, and change. However, if not dealt with, feelings can hold you prisoner to the things you hate most.
Anxiety is a hideous beast that I’ve previously overcome. Prior this episode, I hadn’t had a full-blown anxiety attack for years. Somehow, this one snuck into my peaceful existence and created quite a disruption.
When I reached the top of the climb, I took a moment to view the scenery and admire God’s creation. As I took a deep breathe, I made a decision to forgive myself.
The urgency to make a decision became louder by the minute. I hadn’t yet settled on a response and didn’t know how to go about it. Any decision would be difficult. There were two paths that lay before me. Both were difficult to face.
Explaining that you are experiencing grief over something that you’ve never had is a hard thing for many to understand. However, this is my reality, and it’s one that becomes more intense as the years pass me by.
For quite some time, my emotional health could be compared to a bottle of soda-pop that had been violently shaken and was waiting to surprise any person who dared to open it. In turn, my emotional pain began to manifest in other ways.
My life has been filled with people who have “lovingly” tried to tell me “how to feel”, “when to feel”, and “what not to feel.”
I’ve come to terms that God created me this way for a reason. There is a reason why no two fingerprints are alike. There is a reason why every snowflake has its own design. God didn’t intend for us to all be cookie-cutter replicas....
Here I am, struggling, but choosing to live the best life that I can, despite my circumstances. Here I am, grateful for everyone, and everything, that I do have. I am appreciative of the many, many blessings provided just for me.
For years, I gave people the power to define masculinity for me. This confused the heck out of me. Truth is, I’ve been given an example of who I want to model my life after….
