How to create a powerful circle of influence

For many years, I sought every opportunity available to position myself as an influencer. I got my first taste of leadership at Hatch Valley High School. Although I was committing social-suicide, I found myself serving on a committee of students that created the menu for our cafeteria. (Yes my friends, I was the guilty party that left you with no other choice than to forcefully swallow sloppy joes once a month) Much to my surprise, I found great satisfaction in this role. I enjoyed having others ask for my opinion and insight. Also, it felt amazing to walk into the cafeteria and know that I helped place tacos on the menu that day. I took my role seriously and began to seek other ways to influence others. By my Senior year, I served two terms as class president, and was active in other clubs and activities…..Go me!!!

As an adult, I continued to pursue opportunities to lead and serve. My twenties were a blur of leadership roles. I served in one role after another. At times, I served in multiple roles at once. I was a choir director, musician, trainer at work, I served in my faith community, and I signed-up for anything I could get my hands on.

At the age of twenty-one I became a foster-parent. The opportunity to influence others doubled at this point. I had the opportunity to influence children and the community. I specialized in behavior modification and I coached and mentored others in this very craft. In addition, I was ordained as a member of the clergy. I then had people turning to me to seek counsel and insight on all matters of life. I wanted to do a great job, so I jumped at every opportunity to learn and share my knowledge. I signed-up, I stuffed, I crammed, I mentored, I led, I developed, and then at the age of 32……. I crashed. My season as an influencer came to an abrupt halt.

I wish I had some glorious tale of how I quickly regained my super-powers. However, all I can tell you is that I shamelessly sat on the sidelines for a lengthy amount of time seeking to regain strength. Although it was a slow process, I found my strength increasing when I surrounded myself with people who inspired me. The strength didn’t come from people doing things for me, but rather from conversation. I found that surrounding myself with people who were willing to share their stories of struggle and triumph empowered me to rise above. I found myself being inspired by people who actively talked about setting goals and their plan to reach them. I found that I am inspired by people who love life. They inspire me to live a life from a place of gratitude and enjoy every minute of it.

With the passing of time, I realized that I had unknowingly created my very own “power tribe.” I had positioned myself with a network of people that I can turn to, not only for great conversation, but also for inspiration. Right now, I find myself surrounded by an amazing group of people that not only inspire me…. They also encourage me, pray for me, and cheer for me as I journey through this life.

Perhaps you are at a place where you could benefit from building your very own “power tribe.” If that is the case, I’d like to share with you 4 thoughts to consider as you pursue the challenge of building your own.

  1. Identify what is important to you

Before you can surround yourself by a powerful team of influencers, you’ve got to know what you want your tribe to look like. Do you want the people in your tribe to have a certain skill-set? Do they need to work in a specific industry? Do they need to be overcomers of a certain challenge? Do they need to be experts in anything? Create a list of qualities that you desire your tribe members to have and let that be your starting point.

  1. Create space

One of my old mentors once told me, “Sometimes you have to get rid of some good things to make room for the best things.” This is an important statement to consider when you are creating space for a power-tribe in your life. Ask yourself this question, “Is there any person or activity, that I am currently invested in, that could potentially be an obstacle to investing in my own power-tribe?” If anything comes up, after an honest inventory, you may want to choose to create a boundary or distance yourself from that person. The boundary and/distance must be a decision that you are willing and able to implement. Otherwise, you may face feelings of personal resentment and regret after time.

  1. Identify potential allies

Make a list of influencers that you already know or that you would like to meet. Review contact list on your phone, Facebook, LinkedIn, and check your rolodex. Ask yourself, “Is there anybody within my circle of influence that I’d like to sit with and pick their brain for a minute or two?” You are welcome to move on to number 4 once you’ve listed a person or two.

  1. Reach out

Can I have five minutes of your time? This is a simple question that can lead to a strong influencing relationship, or it can let you know if the person is not a good fit. You will never know until you make the choice to reach out. Make it happen. Reach out.

Unapologetically yours,

John Garay


John Eli is a transformational life coach who has spent over 15 years mentoring individuals in life skills, career transitions, and through organizational change. His resume includes pastoral care, behavioral health, and higher-education advising. From an early age, John recognized that God created him to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others. He is currently walking out his purpose by helping others confront, and work through, any negative self-talk that keeps them from living life to the fullest. His ministry includes blogging, speaking, and personal development coaching. He currently lives in Chandler, Arizona with his wife, mini-schnauzer and an antique piano whom he calls, “Betty.”

To schedule a coaching session with John Eli click here.

Published by John Eli

I am a self-awareness coach (coach for humans), life strategist, blogger and speaker. I’ve spent over 21 years mentoring individuals in life skills, career transitions, relationships, and life recovery. My resume includes pastoral care, behavioral health, and higher education. From an early age, I realized that God created me to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others. I am currently living out my purpose by creating a space where people can rediscover and become all that they were created to be. I currently live in the beautiful state of Arizona with my wife, two dogs, and an antique piano whom I call, “Betty.”

20 thoughts on “How to create a powerful circle of influence

  1. Good as always John. In college I wrote a scathing review of the cafeteria food and this young chef actually met with me and had me form a team of people to advise on how to make the food better. Looking back on it, it was some real leadership on his part.

    Also, it seems like often times God is changing us the most when we feel like we aren’t doing anything. Sometimes we are preaching in season and sometimes we are preaching out of season, but God has us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. John-great post. Finding your tribe is certainly key. What’s challenging is that I’ve found tribes don’t always stay the same. You’re still part of the tribe, but people move on and life happens. Next thing you know, you’re looking for a new tribe, often replaced by multiple tribes, none as good as the first. At least not in the beginning. Growing your tribe takes time, nurturing, and caring. Finding a new tribe is harrowing at best. But it can be done. That’s my experience anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing insight with us. I have had this experience in many socialsettings. However, I’ve also held onto several key friendships throughout the years. We may no longer live near each other, but we communicate frequently. Super grateful for those connections that last over time.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It is definitely a vicious circle, I protect myself, don’t let down my guard very often with people and then when I am having a day I find I don’t have anyone to turn to….working on changing this! Thanks for the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I, too, recharge with conversation! And how awesome that you were a foster parent at such a young age! I agree that it is so important to have like-minded people to support us, encourage us, and hold us accountable.

    Liked by 1 person

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