For years I allowed the shame of my past to rob me of my vitality. I was disappointed with what I had allowed my life to become and unwilling to forgive myself for it. In retrospect I realize I should have sought counsel and accountability. Instead I chose isolation and self-loathing. I stepped back from the civilized world around me and told myself that I needed a rest in the “shade.” Before I knew it, I was surrounded in darkness…alone.,.and powerless to ask for help.
… Then the day came when all that I had hidden came to light. No, it wasn’t pleasant. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what I needed to begin to work on me. My heart needed exposure to light for me to see the damage that I was causing to myself and to those around me. The shock of it all revealed the strength of my relationships. Some stayed, some left, and some unexpected faces joined forces to raise me up.
My life is different now…. I no longer try to hide. I embrace the fragility of my humanity. While I choose to walk in confidence, I also embrace humility. I recognize that I am only where I’m at because grace saw me through. And like the old hymn says, “Grace will lead me home.”
as it is written, “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Romans 9:33 ESV