Shame is like mold

For years I allowed the shame of my past to rob me of my vitality. I was disappointed with what I had allowed my life to become and unwilling to forgive myself for it. In retrospect I realize I should have sought counsel and accountability. Instead I chose isolation and self-loathing. I stepped back from the civilized world around me and told myself that I needed a rest in the “shade.” Before I knew it, I was surrounded in darkness…alone.,.and powerless to ask for help.
… Then the day came when all that I had hidden came to light. No, it wasn’t pleasant. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what I needed to begin to work on me. My heart needed exposure to light for me to see the damage that I was causing to myself and to those around me. The shock of it all revealed the strength of my relationships. Some stayed, some left, and some unexpected faces joined forces to raise me up.
My life is different now…. I no longer try to hide. I embrace the fragility of my humanity. While I choose to walk in confidence, I also embrace humility. I recognize that I am only where I’m at because grace saw me through. And like the old hymn says, “Grace will lead me home.”

Unapologetically yours,

John Eli


as it is written, “Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Romans 9:33 ESV


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Published by John Eli

I am a self-awareness coach (coach for humans), life strategist, blogger and speaker. I’ve spent over 21 years mentoring individuals in life skills, career transitions, relationships, and life recovery. My resume includes pastoral care, behavioral health, and higher education. From an early age, I realized that God created me to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others. I am currently living out my purpose by creating a space where people can rediscover and become all that they were created to be. I currently live in the beautiful state of Arizona with my wife, two dogs, and an antique piano whom I call, “Betty.”

11 thoughts on “Shame is like mold

  1. John, beautifully said! Your words are a ray of hope for those struggling to come to grips with the reality of their brokenness. May someone read this today and find a life line to grab hold of and grab hold of it to start a new journey! Wonderful encouragement.

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  2. Ooooohhh, that is such a good quote in that image – so true too! When we allow our actions to be exposed to the Light of Christ, the adversary of our souls/master of the darkness has no power over us. Hallelujah!

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