Healing my Grief (Day2)

I find some mornings more difficult to wake up to than others.
Today was one of those days.

Perhaps it was the Melatonin I took the night before. Or perhaps it was the overwhelming feeling of loss that I was experiencing. Nevertheless, had my cousin not called placed a mid-morning phone call to me, I may have slept way past noon.

The first thing I felt in the morning was a pang in my stomach that I’ve been carrying for most of this year. The pang usually shows up without warning and is accompanied by a strong desire to cry, but with an inability to shed tears. I made it through my cousin’s phone call and breakfast with the pang’s relentless presence. It wasn’t until I was alone in the shower that the tears began to roll down my face and I was able to experience relief.

As I tuned into my body I heard an aching narrative, one that said “I am overwhelmed and the world is exhausting.” Because of that, I opted to stay home, listen to music, hydrate, relax, and minimize the noise around me. I’m listening in, paying attention to changes in my autonomic state, and anchoring into safety.

I am present. I am here. I am in.

Unapologetically yours,

John Eli

Published by John Eli

I am a self-awareness coach (coach for humans), life strategist, blogger and speaker. I’ve spent over 21 years mentoring individuals in life skills, career transitions, relationships, and life recovery. My resume includes pastoral care, behavioral health, and higher education. From an early age, I realized that God created me to bring hope, healing and encouragement to others. I am currently living out my purpose by creating a space where people can rediscover and become all that they were created to be. I currently live in the beautiful state of Arizona with my wife, two dogs, and an antique piano whom I call, “Betty.”

4 thoughts on “Healing my Grief (Day2)

  1. Thanks for sharing so honestly about your grief. It’s obvious you have been through a difficult time. My mother passed away in November (not directly COVID relate), and I know I have not been as productive or active as I would like. God is bringing comfort and healing (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). May God continue to bless you and minister to you through this difficult season.

    Liked by 1 person

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