90 days ago I found myself at work, staring at the screen, hearing the phone ring, but unable to click on the dialer to answer it.
What once had been a joy to me (supporting students), had unexpectedly transformed itself into a trigger- setting off a panic attack that sent me on a tailspin toward an emotional and cognitive shutdown.
I find some mornings more difficult to wake up to than others.
Today was one of those days.
Sometimes the most courageous thing that you can do is admit your limitations and seek help….. and today that’s where I’m at.
….I am here. I am 100% in.
I may not know what tomorrow holds.
But I know that the one who created me created me for such a time as this.
However, the day came when I realized that my belief was nothing more than a narrative that I had created.
And the truth is that I was under no obligation to allow it to Lord over me.
This evening, I had the privilege of coaching a young man from South Asia who was struggling to process grief. Our conversation was empowering for both of us. As we prepared to end our call I asked him what his biggest takeaway from our conversation was. He stated, “𝘛𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯. 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴.”
You are under no obligation to live your life imprisoned by someone else’s unrealistic expectation of you.Not your Mama’sNot your Daddy’sNot your sibling’sNot your adult kid’sNot your Auntie’sNot your Uncle’sNot your crazy cousin’s Not your opinionated friend’sNot your preacher’sNot your teacher’sNot the random random FB commentator’sNot your co-worker’sNo one’s….. *Btw. I’m not suggesting that youContinue reading “Unrealistic expectations”
From the age of 17-20, I was extremely suicidal. Most people were unaware of this because I hid my inner turmoil behind a big smile. But the pain was real and it eventually became more than I could bear…..
All healthy relationships make space to engage in a balance of conversation that celebrates good and that confronts the bad.
I don’t share this out of spite, unforgiveness, or to give anyone a bad name.
Nor do I share this to gain attention or sympathy.
I share because for years I allowed the influence of others to silence me.
I share this because I traded the narrative of truth for a false narrative of positivity.
I share this because there were points in my life where I believed that I was better off dead than alive.