Coach for humans
I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Father’s day. As a child and teen, I struggled to develop a deep connection with my father. Although I never doubted that he loved me, our difference in age created a huge chasm between us that never resolved before his passing.
Approximately three years ago, I found myself dragging my soul through the darkest corridor I’ve ever traveled through. It didn’t help that I created this mess myself. Somewhere along the line of trying to navigate life outside of my calling….
I sat there on the couch, surrounded by people that I loved and cared about, but at that moment I would have given anything for an excuse to get up and leave.
I felt helpless as I watched my father help his younger sister, my Aunt Celia, into our family car. As a child, I looked forward to the yearly visits that she and my uncle Joe would make to see us. She carried such a vibrant spirit that radiated of love and happiness.
As much as I might criticize my friend’s husband, the truth of the matter is that I too struggle with arrogance and pride. I too have a propensity to throw fits of cataclysmic proportions when things do not go my way. No matter how much I would like to deny it, I have a tendency to try to control people and situations through manipulative behaviors. Although, I have surrendered this vice to God, it still beacons for my attention.
From the moment that I lied…, I felt shame and regret. I have yet to attempt to tell a lie that didn’t leave me feeling the same way. As I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve come to the conclusion that that I don’t want to live under a cloud of shame.
“As much as we as humans love story-lines, the reality is that we actively participate in one every moment of our lives.”
I chose to confront this question with a clear and conscious decision to love myself regardless of the opinions, or judgement, of others. I concluded that the gospel is much more than a “get out of hell for free” card. It is an invitation for me
For quite some time, my emotional health could be compared to a bottle of soda-pop that had been violently shaken and was waiting to surprise any person who dared to open it. In turn, my emotional pain began to manifest in other ways.
John Eli, MBA, MS (Ψ) 