Overcome with hopelessness and shame, I nervously paced each room of my empty house. The only thing louder than the desolate silence were the thoughts that came across my mind.
Simply stated…. You need to forgive yourself for any participation in the creation, or maintaining, of your current circumstances. 🙏
I was aware of her traumatic childhood. I was also aware of how it had impacted her life. Her father was extremely abusive to her mother and to the family. In fact, she bore a small scar near her eye from a brick that her father had flung at her when she was little. Her experiences caused her to be abrasive in her interactions at times. She could be distrusting of people and it took a while to gain her trust.
Feelings can be used as a launching pad that sends you on a pathway towards redemption, restoration, and change. However, if not dealt with, feelings can hold you prisoner to the things you hate most.
When I reached the top of the climb, I took a moment to view the scenery and admire God’s creation. As I took a deep breathe, I made a decision to forgive myself.
For quite some time, my emotional health could be compared to a bottle of soda-pop that had been violently shaken and was waiting to surprise any person who dared to open it. In turn, my emotional pain began to manifest in other ways.
The thought that people didn’t care about us was constantly reinforced by the actions of others. My heart became like a broken bone that never set properly. It stopped working correctly and healed around bitterness, instead of forgiveness.