90 days ago I found myself at work, staring at the screen, hearing the phone ring, but unable to click on the dialer to answer it.
What once had been a joy to me (supporting students), had unexpectedly transformed itself into a trigger- setting off a panic attack that sent me on a tailspin toward an emotional and cognitive shutdown.
Author Archives: John Eli
Labor Day Nostalgia
This labor day weekend is hitting me differently than it usually does.Perhaps it’s Because my hometown, Hatch, NM, is celebrating the 50th anniversary of its annual Chile Festival.More than 30,000 people are expected to pour into my hometown to purchase roasted chile peppers and join the festivities.… and although I’m all about enjoying salsa, chileContinue reading “Labor Day Nostalgia”
Healing my Grief (Day2)
I find some mornings more difficult to wake up to than others.
Today was one of those days.
Healing my grief (Day 1)
Sometimes the most courageous thing that you can do is admit your limitations and seek help….. and today that’s where I’m at.
Entering 2022 fully as a human
….I am here. I am 100% in.
I may not know what tomorrow holds.
But I know that the one who created me created me for such a time as this.
Burgers, Dairy Queen, and a Poverty Mindset
However, the day came when I realized that my belief was nothing more than a narrative that I had created.
And the truth is that I was under no obligation to allow it to Lord over me.
The work that makes me come alive.
This evening, I had the privilege of coaching a young man from South Asia who was struggling to process grief. Our conversation was empowering for both of us. As we prepared to end our call I asked him what his biggest takeaway from our conversation was. He stated, “๐๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฏ. ๐ ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ข ๐ฉ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด. ๐ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ต ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐จ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ด.” โฃ
If heaven were never promised
I spent a good part of my life following Jesus, not because I loved him, but because I was scared of what might happen to me if I “messed up”
Unrealistic expectations
You are under no obligation to live your life imprisoned by someone else’s unrealistic expectation of you.Not your Mama’sNot your Daddy’sNot your sibling’sNot your adult kid’sNot your Auntie’sNot your Uncle’sNot your crazy cousin’s Not your opinionated friend’sNot your preacher’sNot your teacher’sNot the random random FB commentator’sNot your co-worker’sNo one’s….. *Btw. I’m not suggesting that youContinue reading “Unrealistic expectations”
From Suicidal to Healing
From the age of 17-20, I was extremely suicidal. Most people were unaware of this because I hid my inner turmoil behind a big smile. But the pain was real and it eventually became more than I could bear…..