I was aware of her traumatic childhood. I was also aware of how it had impacted her life. Her father was extremely abusive to her mother and to the family. In fact, she bore a small scar near her eye from a brick that her father had flung at her when she was little. Her experiences caused her to be abrasive in her interactions at times. She could be distrusting of people and it took a while to gain her trust.
Recently I’ve had to face an important element of my faith journey that my religious upbringing and theological studies did not prepare me for.
As much as I might criticize my friend’s husband, the truth of the matter is that I too struggle with arrogance and pride. I too have a propensity to throw fits of cataclysmic proportions when things do not go my way. No matter how much I would like to deny it, I have a tendency to try to control people and situations through manipulative behaviors. Although, I have surrendered this vice to God, it still beacons for my attention.
As we went for our daily walk, I reached out and grabbed her hand. I felt safe with her, and I had felt this way since we first met. Unbeknown to her, underneath my boisterous personality, was a broken child who feared the world and trusted no one. Yet, her presence seemed to magically remove the fear and worry that filled my mind.
“As much as we as humans love story-lines, the reality is that we actively participate in one every moment of our lives.”
I chose to confront this question with a clear and conscious decision to love myself regardless of the opinions, or judgement, of others. I concluded that the gospel is much more than a “get out of hell for free” card. It is an invitation for me
Feelings can be used as a launching pad that sends you on a pathway towards redemption, restoration, and change. However, if not dealt with, feelings can hold you prisoner to the things you hate most.